Results and reports by Event

Day 1: Bumps is bullshit

The row down to the start was tense. Plenty of focus in the crew, but you could feel there was some nerves. We were going into bumps off the back of some really solid training, so were optimistic.

Our start was scrappy, and our rowing for the first few minutes was fairly choppy. We weren't quite rowing like full-on wobblers, but it wasn't particularly pretty. We were holding Churchill comfortably and slowly closing on Fitz despite the rowing. Somewhere just before first post we remembered how to row and started to stride away from Churchill. With this newly remembered technique, we got the first whistle on Fitz, followed quickly by two whistles.

Catz had got the bump on Girton just after the corner, and had decided the best way to celebrate was to sit at a 45 degree angle across the river, forcing us to go wide to avoid them. Sadly going wide put us on a collision course with Girton (who were hidden by Fitz until the last second) and we hit them (really, really sorry Girton). We valiantly tried to restart, but Churchill sensed blood and made up the distance we'd put between us. As we came around Grassy they had the inside line and got the bump. Frustrating to know we're faster than the crews around us but moving down, though we've got a few days left to get moving in the right direction.

There were some positives to the day. Fred's mum had made some amazing brownies, and thanks to Ben Leitch's shout out on CamFM my safety officer campaign from 2013 page views are up 4000%. BSJ's fantastic summary email topped it all off.

Day 2: Bumps continues to be bullshit

The row down today was much better, we'd got rid of the first day nerves, and were just determined to get Churchill back.

The start was tidy and punchy, we came off the wind at r39, and strode onto a solid 35. Around the motorway bridge we had our classic forget-how-to-row, but were still edging away from Tit Hall and towards Churchill. Through the corners we were getting some whistles on Churchill, but they were also getting close to Fitz. After coming around Ditton the water was calmer and we started to settle into our race, the rowing was more solid and we were starting to move. Churchill got the bump on Fitz and both boats cleared to the bank. Girton apparently saw this and thought it looked fun, so decided to join in despite not being bumped. We rowed past a stationary Girton, but the umpires told us we weren't getting the over-bump, still not sure how that worked.

Not being put off by this, we decided to go for the first ever 1.5 over-bump on Catz. We got close, chasing them well past the finish line, but narrowly missed out on our chance to make bumps history. Another frustrating day, with a 50/50 call going against us again. We'll just have to get Fitz tomorrow.

Day 3: Bumped Fitz

We went into today determined to make up for the past couple of days. Our start was solid and punchy, we hit 42 in the wind and came off at a long and powerful 39, striding down to 35. We handled the rough water much better than the last two days and started to inch up on Fitz. We got the first whistle before First Post, and spurred on by some primal shouts from Andy and Bevans we quickly got two, then three whistles. After getting the bell Fitz put in a push and made us work for the bump, but we got them just after the corner. The Gut was full of stationary crews, and some great coxing from Basma got us clear.

On the row home we reconciled with St Catz (let's never fight again).

Day 4: Bumped Girton

Now for BCD

Uploaded Sunday 28th February, 16:51

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s97Mb1TZqbU

Uploaded Friday 26th February, 18:02

Day 4: Rowed over

We began the race at the outflow just beyond the motorway bridge, a challenging spot that left some of us scrambling to reach frontstops in time for the final cannon. Despite this, we pulled it together during the first hundred meters or so, getting one whistle on Emma just before the gut. However, our strength this Bumps has been our sharp, quick start, and perhaps losing this cut into our morale; as the race went on, we felt the wall much more quickly than on previous days (due to our extraordinarily long race the day before), and Emma wasn’t waning (due to their extraordinarily short races the past three days…)

When we didn’t get any more whistles before the Plough, we resigned ourselves to a long race, losing a bit more of the push we began with; and Anton called an up-one down-one on the Reach, maybe because he feared us taking our three-for-three rowing trinity a little further (puke, pass out, cry…. die?)

It was a solid race, even so; we held Emma virtually at station or a little farther for the rest of the Reach, and heard another whistle just before the P&E; although we didn’t come away from the last day of bumps with another bump, it was a good ending for a really satisfying Lents.

Uploaded Sunday 6th March, 15:31

Day 3: Bumped FaT

The row down started slightly wobbly but a solid practice start helped to calm the nerves and let us settle into our rythm. Thanks to our bump on Queens' yesterday, we had the pleasure of starting under the motorway bridge.

The canon was loud. BOOOM. Three strong draws sent us on our way and made us gain on FaT right from the start. The first whistle came before first post, but FatT managed to pull away again in the corner. At some point we got the second whistle (sorry, the whole race feels like a big blur in my head). We pushed through Plough reach while being cheered on from Downing who had bumped out. A reset call from Julia brought us even closer to FaT and coming around Ditton corner we got the third whistle. But FaT didn't give up. For what felt like an eternity, all the way down the reach, they held us about 1-2m away from them. Coming towards the railway bridge we did another reset and there it was, THE BELL. Already having massive overlap and while being cheered on by M1 we continued our kill push past the marshalling crews. At some point the bell stopped, but we didn't want to let them get away, not after all this pain. And then suddenly, shouts from the bank to hold it up. Confusion. What happened? Did we bump? YES WE DID! The umpire awarded the bump without a concession from FaT. Yellow fire!

Shout out to Charley who pushed through to the point of being sick. We love you so much. Hopefully, this is the end of W1 emergencies for this term (or even better the rest of the year).

Oh, in case you were wondering, today we had carrot walnut cake with orange cream cheese filling AND most delicious hazelnut cookies with a surprise chocolate kernel (Thanks Julia <3).

Uploaded Friday 26th February, 19:39

So the bad news is there was no race cake today. But the good news is despite the lack of cake related motivation we managed to bump queens.

One minute cannon. Eyes in the boat or more precisely on the cat in front of you, breathe, cannon.

First day jitters out of our system we had a strong start, setting us up for a good race. Along first post reach the first whistle sounded. At this we got a little over excited almost starting an ambitious kill call from a boat length away. But we reined in our enthusiasm to reel them in. Two whistles, first post curve. Three whistles. Bump, in the gut.

After a quick manoeuvre out on the way of on coming Medwards and Pembroke, let the celebrations begin. Greenery all round and compulsory boat selfie (still missing our selfie stick unfortunately). Congratulations Edith your first bump!

Rowing back we discovered the whole division had bumped or been bumped so a full reshuffle is in order. Bring on Day 3!

Uploaded Thursday 25th February, 23:14

As the carnage that is day two of bumps draws to a close, we know the real question everyone is waiting for is what wonderful culinary creation did our cox extraordinaire/Mary-Berry-cookalike make today? Well never fear, the answer is here - double chocolate brownies topped with pistachio crema and ground pistachios - Aromi eat your heart out, we know you're all jealous ;). We also had an excellent race.

After a slight wobble with bow getting a splash-jacket stuck on her head, and 3's blade getting wedged between two wooden posts as we tried to push off (sorry guys, I'm at three for a reason) - we had an really strong start.

All the practise we've put in on starts with Anton from the beginning of term really payed off, and we were super chill as we settled into RATE 39 which we held until well past grassy (so high Chrysa was seeing angels, apparently) - pushing strong into Newnham. Alas, Queens died too quickly, and were bumped out - leaving Newnham chilling in the middle of the river taking their sweet time getting out the way (thanks girls) - Julia coxed for her life, taking a wide line around Newnham. Medwards was able to take a tight line inside Newnham and *thought* they were pushing into us (muhahahaha) but we had a solid build to grassy and quickly reestablished the gap between us. Medwards was left far behind (10+ boat lengths hollllaaaa), and we kept the rest of the race really strong, never lower than rate 35 - especially following Anton's suggestion we go for the quadruple overbump and chase FaT who were strolling down the river around 8 boat lengths ahead - we decreased this to around 5 boat lengths, at which point FaT realised we were serious and started rowing again.

In true James-trained style (we hope you're proud James!) - almost all the boat announced they felt like being sick once we easy-there'd at green dragon, which would have completed the triple-danger 'puke, pass out, cry' for the term.

Unfortunately we forgot our selfie stick, so you'll just have to take my word for this all, boys.

Uploaded Wednesday 24th February, 18:06

Day 1

Chasing Christ's M2, chased by Emmanuel M2

There must have been something in that orange and mango squash that our 3 man brought along, because we were all energised and raring to go on what was the first ever bumps experience for most of our crew. We rowed down nicely and had a good practice start, if not a bit too casual. But we looked confident and got to the lock ready for the race. Christ's stern four looked pretty big, but the moment we saw their 2-man in a life jacket any worries we had about not catching them swiftly disappeared. A life jacket?! Anyway, our start was... a bit tense... and Emma gained a bit in the first 100m. It took us a bit to settle down, but once we did, there were some really nice patches. Clem called a power 10 under the motorway bridge and we began to hear whistles, urging us on. By this time, Emma were failing and we were confident that we wouldn't be bumped. When two whistles came and with our coach Ed shouting "THEY'RE DYING!" over and over again on the bank, we knew we had to move and Clem took an amazing corner around First Post as Christ's went wide, allowing us to nicely bang on their stern as we came round. It was a great start to the campaign! Everyone was ecstatic! Bring on Pembroke M2!

Day 2

Chasing Pembroke M2, chased by Christ's M2

I can gladly say that it wasn't the orange and mango squash that made us bump Christ's yesterday. We didn't have any today and we rowed much better and much stronger. It seemed like the first day nerves disappeared and we simply headed out onto the river with fire in our eyes. Our boatclub neighbours, Pembroke, were eyeing us up and down - probably seeing that half our crew isn't over 5ft 9" - and headed out before us. On this occasion, size didn't really matter (finally!). When we got to our station after a decent warm up, we were looking strong and ready to go. We concocted a race plan the night before - front-load our start, give it everything, catch Pembroke before First Post. Guess what happened? Exactly that. We had one of the best starts we've ever done and glided to the motorway bridge. It was just after that when Christ's were bumped out and we knew we had to empty the tanks since we had nothing to lose but a row over. Ed's voice soon pierced through the splashing noises, which gave stern pair the willpower to bring up the rate and commit to it until we eventually bumped Pembroke on First Post corner. It was a solid row, we were astonished that our race plan actually paid off and now we're looking forward to making Sidney do some work tomorrow.

Day 3

Chasing Sidney Sussex, chased by Pembroke M2

Why didn't we have any orange and mango squash?

Day 4

Chasing Sidney Sussex, chased by St Edmund's

To quote Sidney Sussex, "row overs aren't funny any more". I completely agree. No one wants to row long and hard for over 2k along the River Cam: it's tiring. So we decided to make sure we didn't row over again. To quote Sidney Sussex, yesterday "[t]here was little pressure from the ascending Clare M2, visible but never a threat." So today we decided to put on more pressure and make sure we became a threat. We pushed hard on them from the start - helped by Eddie's catching a crab early on - and they started failing. Catching them on Ditton Corner was the best feeling ever - we bumped them there last Mays too - and I'm pretty sure they're going to be quite upset that we tainted their continual row overs (hey, at least you got to row less today, right?). And their 7 man with his "loudest kit on the Cam" was certainly challenged by my offensive yellow and black leggings - he was probably feeling a bit emasculated or something. Anyway, we got them. And we ended a fantastic few days on the Cam. Sorry, Eddie's, for not allowing you to have blades. #sorrynotsorry

P.S. I did actually have some orange and mango squash today. Probably what did it.

Uploaded Sunday 28th February, 20:20

Day 3

Chasing Sidney Sussex, chased by Pembroke M2

Coming in on day 3 into a boat that was up 2 and having read all of BSJ's banter reports, I had no doubt that I could be the cult hero BSJ had set me up to be. In the end I couldn't, which leaves BSJ with a bit of an issue with the plot of his banter reports.

At the start we knew we didn't need to worry about Pembroke who were bumped by St Edmund's very early. That just left us to go out hard and try and catch Sidney Sussex (who?). Unfortunately, off the start, and it's got to be said for the first 500m we seemed much more interested in what was going on behind us than we were in rowing well. That said, once Pembroke had bumped out we seemed to switch on and had a fairly tidy, powerful row over, staying on station with both Sidney and Queens' in front of them. We know that tomorrow we've got a tough race, with a fast crew coming up behind us. However, we also know that with a bit more focus and application in the first 500m we have every chance of pulling away from St Edmund's and getting that bump we want on Sidney.

Quentin can come in and be the hero that BSJ needs, even if he isn't the hero that BSJ deserves.

Day 4

Chasing Sidney Sussex, chased by St. Edmund's

Rowing down we were held up in utter chaos at Green Dragon bridge. We soon found out that this was because someone in the M3 division had decided to ejector crab, so they'd had to rerow a lot of the division. After marshalling we rowed up to to the lock - minus our practice start and with Sidney deciding it was cool to keep on doing bursts until they were a few inches away from us. The start was a bit poor, but luckily for us, St Edmund's decided to catch a monster crab in about their fifth stroke, which left us to just chase down Sidney. We got one whistle coming into first post and (I think) the second whistle in the gut. At this point I would like to credit Clem for great lines through both first post and grassy. Our way of returning the favour to Clem was to start rowing pretty awfully down Plow Reach. Luckily it didn't matter, with another great line around Ditton from Clem, we got the inside line on Sidney, shortly followed by the third whistle and the bell. Allowing us to bump Sidney about 1/4 of the way down the reach. It was a solid if unspectacular row, but a great end to a bumps campaign that has surpassed all expectations that we had coming in.

Two other interesting points to come out of today:

I managed to not get told off for shouting expletives at Sidney unlike in Mays 2015.

Quentin was the hero that BSJ needed, and apparently closed a boat and a half length on Sidney from Day 3 single handedly. Top work Quentin.

Uploaded Saturday 27th February, 18:19

Day 4:

Race No. 5 – division W3: Up until today, we hadn’t been pushed very hard by this division due to lots of bumping happening behind us and so we were mostly “steamrolling ahead” and rowing “majestically” (as reported by Cam FM) on clear water. Alas, not today. We knew this race was going to be a fight to the death as Wolfson W1 had bumped up on the two previous days. They were on track for blades and now they wanted our blood too… We had a good start, kept it strong and confident and although they got uncomfortably close at the corner before the long reach we managed to push away to maintain our favourite sandwich position! ☺

Race No. 6 – division W2: After the cruel “tactical row over” misfortune the day before, we were pumped to have this chance to bump St Edmunds. We had a strong start but unfortunately so did they and even with multiple pushes / power 10s / rate builds we maintained 2 lengths throughout most of the course. At the last bridge we gave it our all and managed to gain half a length but unfortunately that wasn’t enough to get the bump. ☹

We may not have bumped today but at least we stopped those wolves from getting blades! Looks like its sandwich position again for tomorrow!

Uploaded Saturday 27th February, 16:46

Day 3 (or: Day 2 part II)

Today was the day...

It was our great opportunity to bump up to Div2 and finally get rid of the unpleasant sandwich boat position. We have had a whole day (!) and a really tasty crew-meal in between our race in Div3 and the upcoming one in Div2. We were strengthened, rested and really keen to bump St. Edmund’s W1! Summarized appropriately by singer-songwriter Roz:

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow; this opportunity comes once in Lent bumps.

After a focused row down to our starting point at the lock and an average practise start, the emerging nervousness was blown away by the amazing storytelling-skills of Anton and Nigel. As the cannon went off, we started with the best starting sequence we ever had in this crew! We just didn’t care about wobbly water and were ready to give everything we had. We settled into a rate between 35 and 37 but didn’t massively gain on St. Edmund’s W1. However, our will to bump was unbreakable.

Suddenly someone shouted ‘Hold it up!’- We couldn’t believe what happened. Two boats were blocking the river entirely (Clare W4 and Girton W1 could have learned from them). Lady Margaret W2 got bumped by Robinson W1 and they couldn’t manage to get out of the way.

The end of the story: the last 4 boats –us included- got a technical row-over. We were angry like hell and our dream to bump up to Div2 was shattered. On our way to the boat house Nigel tried to cheer us up philosophically by comparing bumps with life. Sometimes it is just not fair.

At the boat house delicious chocolate cornflake cakes made by Ariane were waiting for us. We absolutely needed them!

Uploaded Thursday 25th February, 22:16

Day 2: More Sandwiches

After our majestic row over at the top of W3 and the same Queens’ crew chasing us again, all we needed from day 2 of bumps was an exact repeat of the day before.

Just after the one minute canon, Anton pushed us off, keen to state our authority as leaders of the division (or possibly due to his impatience for us to be done so he could go and get some lunch...) We had a strong start and whilst Queens did start much better than they did yesterday, Wolfson weren't far behind them either and our quick get away to first corner provided us with plenty of distance from which to observe not one but two bumps behind us, putting us well ahead of all crews remaining.

Ready to relax into a nice row over, Joel called for a power 110% round grassy - for the sake of our admirers as it later transpired – but much to the confusion of several crew members at the time! After that we did then enjoy a very nice row home, Joel causally commenting "Oh there goes the finish, rate 18 it is" at the railings, by which point we hadn’t seen another boat for what felt like days.

CamFM had plenty more compliments for us today, none quite as stunning as yesterday but we'll be back tomorrow for more sandwich fun.

Uploaded Thursday 25th February, 22:08

Day 1

Let’s face it, being the sandwich boat is not great.

…. Unless you’re Clare W2, because in that case, being the sandwich boat is *majestic*.

Long story short: we assembled under the wings of Edith the coach & the women's captain, ready for a tough day of racing in (hopefully) two divisions. We had a solid row up to the head of Div3. We performed a strong practice start in front of the Plough and were ready to row, row, row our boat down the head of Div3.

We were chased by Queens’ W2. The sun was shining, birds were singing and as the cannon went off, we started with a composed start sequence. I am clueless about the rate but it was a good rate. Queens' W2 did not gain on us. Going strong, we took a nice line around first post corner. Queens’ did not gain on us. With a good push form bowside and Joel’s immaculate steering, we took Grassy. Queens’ did not gain on us. Queens’ definitely did not gain on us. As we went down Plough Reach, Queens’ were actually nowhere to be seen. And so we steamrolled (quoting CamFM) towards Ditton, looking strong (still quoting) and majestic (you guessed it - still quoting CamFM), rowing over in the first race of the day.

(benefits of being the sandwich boat: we get to be smug about row-overs).

In the second race of the day at the bottom of Div2, we were smelling blood after seeing the less-than-impressive practice start that Corpus ahead of us performed. To our unpleasant surprise, that was some sort of tactical move because their actual start turned out to be more-than-less-than-impressive. We did gain half a length on them somewhere around the railway bridge but they held us off there. Also, then they bumped Eddie's W1 and CamFM didn’t call us majestic again, which was a bit of a shame.

And so, Clare W2 reports ready for another day in the sandwich.

Uploaded Thursday 25th February, 19:20

Day 3: Bumped by Sydney Sussex M2

The day started with a debate about which measures to take in order to bump. Being bumped by a M2 the first day didn't make us feel that bad. But we felt Queen's M3 got us in the second day just because of Caius blocking the last corner: we were going to go for Queen's and get our deserved revenge. So, what was the best thing to do? Stroking thinking in Toby singing a Wiener Waltz as Nigel suggested? Should I show my confidence on the crew taking out my googles? We decided to do both. So, without glasses and rowing in the Cam as Johan Strauss probably did in the Danube, we started the race.

Of course, one variable was left out of the equation. Queen's was chasing King's III, and they bumped very quickly. We lost our target! Although I didn't see that much, because I wasn't wearing my glasses, the guys told me afterwards that Sydney Sussex II was the one chasing us. Push away and dance waltz! 1-2-3, 1-2-3 and focus on taping down! It seemed we were going to roll over, but in the last curve we lost the rhythm for a few seconds. The Waltz turned into a Blues... SSM2 pushed hard for a power ten. They were coming for us, at a distance that even I was able to see without my beloved optic artifacts. Izzy called for our power ten and it started to work! We accelerated... and suddenly!! A miracle? The distance increases! One, two meters... Are they dying? Two seconds of glory, before all of us, including Izzy, realized that we got bumped by Sydney Sussex's M2...but most of all, that we are a honest Boat Club, and that our colleagues in the bank already conceded, as it must be done. This Saturday my googles will be back for seeing in HD how this brave bunch of mostly unexperienced rowers give everything they have to show not just yellow fire but also yellow honesty and perseverance.

Uploaded Saturday 27th February, 11:14

Day 2: Report by Harry Perkin

M3 experienced the full rollercoaster of rowing emotions on the second day of Lent bumps. After an unfortunate start there were no illusions that we were in a tough position.With the grizzled Goliaths that were Hugh’s Hall M2 ahead of us and the cockiest Queens boat on the river chasing us, the stakes were high (plus we were a completely new crew).

The race started oddly with the Queens cox adopting the unorthodox tactic of playing pingball with the bank sides. However, within a few hundred metres they had closed the gap down to just a few metres. There seemed to be no hope. All was lost.But in that moment of despair the wise words of our coach, Fred, came to us all – “when you’re knackered, just row like dog’s bollocks” (he’s a Vet-Med). With this in mind, we began to push off Queen’s just before the reach. The great escape was on.

But alas! The rowing gods decreed that our good fortune was not to be. The nature of our curse took the form of a rather thick looking Caius crew who thought it would be a good idea to block the bend into the reach. Izzy – who had coxed perfectly – was forced into a drastic wide bend and consequently we lost the boat and a half lead over Queens. Despite this, it seemed as if we were going to row through under the narrowest of margins.

But in a moment of true tragedy, Queens finally managed to bump us our bow was literally crossing the finishing line. Such was the nature of our defeat that Nicolas, a seven foot colossus built of iron and steel, was reduced to weeping. But in the world of M3 a defeated boat never equates to a defeated spirit (we’re saving that for spoons on Saturday...)

Uploaded Thursday 25th February, 22:42

The race day started promising. M3 arrived at the boathouse pumped ready to walk through a brick wall. Anton raised the flag, the sun came out, we where ready. There had been slight changes to the crew because Vikram and Jamil 1.0 were injured. Robin was stroking for Vikram. It was a definite plus to have someone with that amount of experience on board.

We headed to the starting position guided by Nigel, Fred and Anton. The atmosphere was tense, the river quiet and M3 focused. The boat felt good. We reached our starting position 20 min early. We were supposed to chase Jesus with Hughes Hall in our neck.

The canon went of for the third time and we went of. The starting sequence was 2-5-5. Hughes Hall lowered the distance to our boat until about 1/4 length of a boat. We could hold them at this distance for some time and they were falling apart. We would have had enough endurance to push them away, but worst came to worst and 7 caught a crab. We got bumped.

Anton gave some feedback on our rowing. Basically we should do a stronger tap down and watch our handle heights carefully at high rates to avoid blades trailing on the water.

We will be back. #yellowfire

Uploaded Wednesday 24th February, 0:08