Results and reports by Event

Day 1: Rowed over

Jake reports: The evening began with a chill paddle to J lock where an angry swan attempted to eat Philippa twice. The screams through the cox box encouraged us to row strongly down to station. A strong start put us just outside 1 length from King’s ahead, and slowly walking away from Queens’ behind. We kept it long and loose through the outwash and round the corners, keeping on station with King’s. Eventually, King’s bumped Downing ahead and Jesus bumped Queens’ behind - leaving us to row over to top finish in clean water.

Day 2: Bumped by Jesus

Tom reports: After a strong row down to station, we were off. A good start saw us gaining whistles on Downing as we pushed off Jesus behind. Moving into Plough reach, and an up two caused the bell to start ringing as we came round Ditton. However sadly it was not to be. We slowly lost Downing as Kings bumped ahead giving Downing clear water, and as a spent force, despite our best efforts, Jesus caught us just before bottom finish. We had a great row, and were inches away from the bump, and are ready to give our all against Jesus.

Day 3: Rowed over

Phil reports: After the disappointment of yesterday's missed bump we were firing on all cylinders going into today's race. We knew we'd rowed away from Jesus off the start yesterday and that bumping them was within our grasp. We had Alex on standby, who very kindly cycled down after his race with M2 in case we needed him to sub. Luckily, Sam was just about up for the challenge still. We had a strong start, however, Jesus did too and it seemed that today Downing had run out of fight, with Jesus bumping them before Grassy. The boys from Queen's chasing us put in a big shift, gaining a whistle round Grassy and three by Ditton. We kept our calm on the Reach, and held them at bay on three whistles. By the railway bridge they were flagging and just as we were moving away they made one last move, but we knew we could hold them off no matter what they threw at us, and confidently crossed the finish line, three whistles ahead. Tomorrow we chase Downing, for the final Watson-Watson derby of the season, or at least until we both go to Henley qualifiers next week.

Uploaded Monday 31st July, 19:47

Day 1: Rowed over

Jake reports: The evening began with a chill paddle to J lock where an angry swan attempted to eat Philippa twice. The screams through the cox box encouraged us to row strongly down to station. A strong start put us just outside 1 length from King’s ahead, and slowly walking away from Queens’ behind. We kept it long and loose through the outwash and round the corners, keeping on station with King’s. Eventually, King’s bumped Downing ahead and Jesus bumped Queens’ behind - leaving us to row over to top finish in clean water.

Day 2: Bumped by Jesus

Tom reports: After a strong row down to station, we were off. A good start saw us gaining whistles on Downing as we pushed off Jesus behind. Moving into Plough reach, and an up two caused the bell to start ringing as we came round Ditton. However sadly it was not to be. We slowly lost Downing as Kings bumped ahead giving Downing clear water, and as a spent force, despite our best efforts, Jesus caught us just before bottom finish. We had a great row, and were inches away from the bump, and are ready to give our all against Jesus.

Day 3: Rowed over

Phil reports: After the disappointment of yesterday's missed bump we were firing on all cylinders going into today's race. We knew we'd rowed away from Jesus off the start yesterday and that bumping them was within our grasp. We had Alex on standby, who very kindly cycled down after his race with M2 in case we needed him to sub. Luckily, Sam was just about up for the challenge still. We had a strong start, however, Jesus did too and it seemed that today Downing had run out of fight, with Jesus bumping them before Grassy. The boys from Queen's chasing us put in a big shift, gaining a whistle round Grassy and three by Ditton. We kept our calm on the Reach, and held them at bay on three whistles. By the railway bridge they were flagging and just as we were moving away they made one last move, but we knew we could hold them off no matter what they threw at us, and confidently crossed the finish line, three whistles ahead. Tomorrow we chase Downing, for the final Watson-Watson derby of the season, or at least until we both go to Henley qualifiers next week.

Uploaded Monday 31st July, 19:47

Day 1

Written by the crew

After a great start we truly abandoned all plans maintaining rate 40 for considerably longer than agreed. Stefan called a controlled push and we moved a little further away from Catz. The cat and mouse game was on. At rate 38 we made the catz work for their dinner. The mighty mouse mustered a controlled push determined to outrun the cat. Unfortunately the catz had tricks up their sleeves. Some excellent coxing from our new nemesis Maya (catz cox) forced us into the bank.

Stefan was stabbed in the back (quite literally by a blade) and Jen was concerned she was next on the hit list. Hanna crabbed and Chrissi, having acquired a second blade (Hanna’s), tried out some sculling. Lotte’s blade got caught on the bank, Lucy’s blade punched her in the stomach. What could be referred to as anarchy, by William Connolley himself made us realise that rowing really is a dangerous sport.*

W1, the mighty mouse, will be making a comeback. And that comeback is tomorrow.

*See William Connolley’s video at 5:37 for the visual, the GoPro footage is on its way.

Day 2

Written by Lucy:

W1 were not messing around today, it was on. The plan: to fly and die catching Catz in 500m. 1.5km later we were still rowing.

We were bumped but as a crew it’s a win for us; it was an epic row. We flew off the start hitting a 1:39 split at rate 43. Learning from our mistake yesterday, we then settled onto our rhythm putting space between us and Queens’. They may have bumped us at 1.6km but we made them work for it.

Uploaded Saturday 29th July, 16:22

Day 1: rowed over

Day 2: Molly Reports: M2 had an eventful rowdown including an emergency call to Grip to check the boat wasn’t going to break in half. A nice clean start and a not so clean settle, we held strong splits before getting thrown around by choppy water under the A14 bridge. Finally getting back into our stride and taking a good corner at first post, we held it up in the gut due to carnage ahead. A re-row from station 3 had us trying to bump Pembroke M2 before they got Emma M2 - but ultimately saw all three crews rowing over. A sharp but relaxed piece at 28 to the finish let us rest our legs for a third attempt at Pem on Friday

Day 3: Ferdi reports: On the row down, we knew we were facing a big task. We'd rowed over behind Pembroke, and re-rowed over behind them again, and were now being chased by an ascendant Downing. We knew we'd need to play all our cards off the start, setting off at rate 44 which was duly rewarded with an early whistle on Pembroke. Pushing into a strong rhythm, Downing found a new gear and eventually gained whistles on us into first post corner, followed by bells into grassy, where the bump was expertly evaded by a shrewd line from Molly. This bought us valuable time, but was eventually in vain as we were bumped on Plough Reach. We rowed home proud of our effort and how we had executed our plan. We go again tomorrow.

Cave Adsum

Day 4: Lucas reports: Saturday, and the conclusion of our torrid bumps campaign would finally come to a close. Being chased by a blading St Catz and chasing a balding Jesus, who of course had bumped us the day before, a bold plan was concocted to deprive both crews of blades: go hard and fast off the start and fling it as far as we can. This plan was exceptionally cunning, as doing precisely the same thing as we had done 3 times before would be the last thing that Catz would expect us to do! While all seemed hopeless, an even more ambitious plan was devised, and this one might actually come close to working. The plan? To overbump St Edmunds before being caught by Catz. Filled with the desire to get the first men’s side bump, and the desire to turn a score of -3 into +1, we set off at the gun with a perfectly balanced boat, with catches in time and power coursing through every arm, body and slide. Jesus bumped quickly, and as they cleared ahead, we found ourselves just a length and a half behind Eddies, and we were gaining fast. But so were Catz, and as we rounded First Post and entered The Gut, our pursuers inched closer and closer with nothing we could do. A final push to Grassy ultimately sealed our fate: -3 after all. But we had come to within a length of Eddies, some say we got a whistle, which we took away as a triumph in a crew consisting of 4 ex-novices (as well as the man who taught them how to row) in a horrendously tough spot in the division. The great tragedy is that Eddies managed to get double overbumped by FaT, meaning that next year’s Mays M2 won’t even get the satisfaction of bumping them either… Ultimately, a sore bumps for a promising M2, but that’s the way bumps goes, and there’s always next year after all, but first: M2’s going to Henley!!!

Uploaded Saturday 29th July, 16:17

Race report written by Lottie 

Great start to bumps for W2! It was a strong paddle down with nerves slightly showing and only two half crabs on a very short piece. At marshalling it was decided that it had to be a bump or we’d have a week of going down. With that in mind we pushed off the start, the bump took a long time but was well won in the end. Now ready for a faster bump today.

Uploaded Saturday 29th July, 16:21

Justin Tan reports:

Day 1:

Short and sweet report, much like our race. The day started off promisingly as none of our crew had overslept or eaten dodgy lasagne the night before, an improvement upon our average outing. In spite of our (entirely well-founded) bullish aspirations, the blades campaign was not to be, as we were overbumped by a Lucy Cavendish crew out for a gentle afternoon paddle in the sun. Oh well. Let's hope Sidney somehow erged less than us.

Day 2:

Our Dantesque descent down the division continued on day two. While there were elements of comedy to it, there was none of the divine to be found as we were summarily bumped by a "small" and "skinny" Magadelene side. Focusing on the positives, a smooth and quick start saw us approach within half a length of Sidney by first post. Unfortunately by that time Magadelene had come within zero lengths of us.

Having successfully completed the spoons speedrun on the second day, abetted by our bold strategy of 'no ergs just vibes', our thoughts turn toward the remaining days. Will we lay the groundwork for next campaign's M3 redemption arc, or descend further into the inferno?

Day 3:

The celestial bodies aligned as Clare M3 pulled off a stunning rowover on a sweltering day 3. Behind us, Homerton devoured Churchill about 4 seconds after the cannon, while Magdalene snaffled Sidney not long after in front of us. This fortunate sequence of events opened up an ocean of clear water that not even we could stuff up.

We gently paddled the full course with about the same urgency as the average Clare M3 AT session, secure in the knowledge that Darwin M2 behind us was literally the only Div4 boat slower than us in X-Press head. Biggest W of the day was not hitting a cygnet on the row back. How many more days of this do we have left?

Day 4:

## RR4, or maybe the real blades were the friends we made along the way.

Everyone loves a good underdog story. Unfortunately there was none to be found in Division 4 as the Empire (Homerton) annihilated Clare M3 before First post. Their ill-gotten blades were abetted by some serpentine behaviour from Clare's own Judas in their 5 seat, whose name is unfit to stain the footnotes of a wank mag.

In truth, we hardly helped ourselves, resembling not so much plucky rebel X-Wing squadron but instead a disorganised rabble of Ewoks, minus the cute factor. Our inability to row was secondary only to the inability of the brains trust at CUCBC to realise that placing Lucy Cav M1 and Hom M2 in Division 4 may be a bad idea. (Seriously, Homerton are the biggest college in Cambridge, why on Earth is their M2 in our Division?)

Again focusing on the positives, at least we didn't get bumped before the A14 bridge, unlike Churchill lol. While the start felt choppy but fast it probably was not objectively fast as we couldn't get a whistle on Sidney ahead of us. Ultimately our strategy of hoping that the crews around us were as allergic to ergs as we were backfired during this bumps campaign. Holiday training opens tomorrow. Cue the montage for next Mays' M3 redemption arc.

At least we set next year's M3 up with a decent chance at blades, although that's probably what they said last year. So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly down the divisions.

Uploaded Saturday 29th July, 16:15

Day 1 - Emma Sainsbury reports:

After pushing off from the boathouse slightly late as Meg was late because of exams and Emma was late because Meg was late, we finally made it to marshalling. The first race was successful, rowing over despite the melted jelly babies, and we managed to hold off Clare Hall until Christ's W2 bumped them. 2nd race was even better catching Darwin W2 before we hit grassy (did help that Ella’s blade wasn’t out of the rigger this time and Lily managed to stay in her seat for more than half of it) woohooooooo yayyyyyy blades for W3 (TBC) - the best sandwich boat out there!!!

Day 2 - Sophia Summers reports:

W3 were feeling much more positive knowing they only had to row once today and that we had our whole crew back. We had a slightly tense row down when Meg found out that Emma hadn’t bought any vegan sweets. Maybe that was why she chose to take a few air strokes on our practice start. But Millie decided she needed to out do Meg and try to do our actual race start with her blade upside down. With 5 seconds to go we managed to finally push off and get blades in the right way. Somehow we managed to get going on the canon and we quickly gained on Jesus W2. With a very strong row we bumped them before Grassy. We then celebrated in the evening with a team BBQ - team building in preparation for our next bump tomorrow!

Uploaded Saturday 29th July, 16:20

Race report written by Susannah

Racing against crews we knew nothing about and having only mastered race starts about two weeks ago W4 went into Wednesday’s race having no idea what to expect. A slightly unset start didn’t perturb us as we built up speed and started catching up to FaT W2. Peterhouse W2 was coming along quite fast behind us, so much so that a couple of members of the crew (who shall remain nameless) thought Shan was making up how close we were to FaT to encourage us away from Peterhouse. Before it had really started it was all over as we bumped FaT just as Peterhouse was coming up on us, before we’d even made it to the motorway bridge. A happy bump for us and we look forward to another great race on Thursday.

Uploaded Saturday 29th July, 16:17